Human Pizza Box Men

A well known local pizza takeaway has taken advertising to a new level. I will disguise the company name as a cautionary measure against any unintentionally libellous remarks before I continue.....

So, D*minos has taken to employing a number of (presumably) temporary staff to stand at the exits to several roundabouts in Telford advertising special deals on their pizzas. I first spotted these poor unfortunates at around 7 o’clock, Monday morning. As their dishevelled forms shuffled into view through the freezing fog, I thought to myself....what the f....?!’ followed rapidly by ‘ha ha ha’ and immediately followed hard upon by ‘poor b*stards’. It was sub sero temperatures and they must have been feeling pretty stupid, dressed up in massive pizza boxes. I was reminded of them again on the return home because the desperados were still there at 6 that evening.

The next day, as I drove past yet another roundabout with four lonely sentinels standing guard at each entrance, I let out another huge guffaw. However, Wifey was also in the car and so this time around I was forced to also consider how fortunate I was to have a decent job, whilst trying (with little success) to stifle a chuckle. That fact that someone would want to work in such abject degradation is a testament to their spirit and they should be applauded for actually getting out and working for a living rather than those leeches who slob around all week, slowly bleeding the hard working tax payers dry. So, on the return journey, rather than laughing and pointing, we took to beeping our horns and waving at the poor reprobates. We got a good response! One beep one wave. That a 100% wave return on our beeps.

Assuming a retaliatory response from other takeaway outlets, don’t be surprised if you see a kebab, burger or chicken wing jostling on the roundabouts as Keb*b-Ye, MacD*nalds and K*C begin their advertising campaigns in earnest.

Wifey , Jakey and I had pizza last night. Unfortunately for D*minos, we went to A*da to get ours because it’s cheaper. (still, if my spending can help get the economy back on track, I’m all for it - right voters !?)

And remember, no matter how bad your job gets, it could worse. You could be stuck on a roundabout dressed up in a pizza box. Utter and abject humilitation.Pizza wobble-boarder, I salute you.

Human Pizza box (face disgused by a pizza to protect his identity)