‘Will you do all in your power to support and encourage them in their marriage?’
At Polly's funeral, I saw that promise fulfilled by those present to support us.
To conceive a child is the ultimate demonstration of love between husband and wife. To create life is an ethereal experience: a miracle that almost transcends earthly comprehension. Bringing a child into the world presents numerous obstacles and dangers but in today’s world we have come to expect pregnancy and the birth of a child as a straightforward event.
Our experience has reminded us how fragile life can be.
Despite the skills of the best doctors available and all this modern-day technology, our baby could not survive. Nine months of effort, dedication and devotion, culminated in 3 hours of life. Most of that time, Pollyanna spent with strangers: doctors: nurses. We were rewarded with 15 minutes as a family.
There is no feeling more savage than to be told your child is dying and there is nothing the doctors can do.
There is nothing so wretched as to hold your daughter in your arms and watch helplessly as she fades away.
There is nothing so desperate as to hold her tight hoping beyond hope that you can force some of your life into her
It’s called heart-ache because your heart literally aches.
Most parents are fortunate to have a lifetime with their children. We had just 15 minutes. But I can promise you, in those 15 minutes, we bathed Pollyanna with a life time of love and affection.
Pollyanna was a delicate flower: our arms the petals that caressed her. Like the flower, whose petals fade away, our Pollyanna faded away. But unlike the flower, our memories will live, substained and nurtured by the everlasting love that we hold close to our hearts for our wonderful, beautiful daughter, Pollyanna Goodchild.
We love you Pollyanna.
We draw great comfort from the following poem by Terry Kettering:
There's an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting,so it is hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with "How are you?" and"I'm fine" ...
And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.
We talk about the weather.
We talk about work.
We talk about everything else --
except the elephant in the room.
There's an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all.
But we do not talk about the elephant in the room.
Please, say her name.
Please,say "Pollyanna" again.
Please, let's talk about the elephant in the room.
For if we talk about her death, Perhaps we can talk about her life.
Can I say " Pollyanna " to you and not have you look away?
For if I cannot, then you are leaving me Alone ... In a room ... With an elephant.
